I got myself a Canon Digital Rebel XS with a kit lens and a Flickr Pro account and started taking pictures. I haven’t taken nearly as many photos as I would have liked to by this point two and a half years later. My skills haven’t progressed much past “dude who recently bought a camera,” either.

See, I have this problem where my passion for things I like fades. I love taking pictures, but I just can’t get into it sometimes. The same thing happened for me with riding roller coasters. I’ve ridden about 180 different roller coasters and have been fascinated and thrilled by them since around the time of my earliest childhood memories. Recently, though, the passion for coasting has faded.

I’ve managed to get a few photos I’m really proud of. I’ve gotten many, many more that I’m not proud of in the least. But that’s how photography goes. For every 10, or even 100 photos you take you might get one or two that you really like.

Part of the reason my passion for taking pictures faded is self doubt. I’m sure I’m not a very good photographer. There are plenty of good photographers out there! Why do we need more? (For further reference and to see the trend of why I don’t do things, check out my previous post about blogging.)

I manage to convince myself that the creative works that I do are sub-par and shouldn’t be done. I have a dusty guitar two dusty guitars. I have unfinished code in at least three different languages. I have two draft blog entries saved on this very site.

I have a goal this summer. Laura was kind enough to put together a bit of a challenge for me. Each week she’s giving me five things to take photos of. Some of the prompts are concepts, some concrete things, some adjectives. The interpretation of the prompts is up to me. By the end of each week I will have taken at least five photos that I am proud of.

Now I just need to get around to starting. I’ve pushed back zero day on the project for the last month or so, which brings me to another thing I have a problem with: procrastination.

But I’ll write about that later.

We got married in September 2008 with Johnathan’s biological parents (step-parent was conspicuously absent), and my parents and step-parents, as well as Allison, said best friend. That was our “guest list.” Even now, I feel like it wasn’t about us, or even really for us. It was for them. Is that wrong? Maybe. Weddings are supposed to be about the couple coming together with friends and family to celebrate a new chapter in their lives.

Part of the problem with my perception of this day is probably that I don’t feel like it started a new chapter. No magical change came over us and changed our relationship. We didn’t behave any differently than we had before we got married, and I certainly didn’t feel any different. The only real change is that now people sit there and call me “Mrs.” and coo at me when they realize we’ve been married a “short” enough time to still be called newlyweds. Thankfully, I no longer get asked incessantly when we’re planning to reproduce, but these seem to be the things that define marriage.

We have no printed photos of that day. My step-dad took some pictures, my dad and step-mom did, and so did Johnathan’s mom. I’ve seen a fair number of the pictures – even had some of them emailed to me, but I have really very little interest in having them printed and put into our apartment to “show off.” It was just another day along the road to me. I think I’ll be more likely to post a photo of us when we finish our first 5K (which we’re planning to do, when we’re physically able!), when I graduate from college, or of us on some vacation. Those memories seem like they’ll mean more than the day we got married.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t value our marriage. I love Johnathan, and our relationship is very important to me. It doesn’t define me, but it is a very important part of my life. I fully believe that we would enjoy the same relationship as we have now, even if we hadn’t gotten married. It’s just financially beneficial to get married, not to mention that it simplifies things legally if one of us should ever get seriously hurt or sick. It also helps to show others that this is a serious relationship. A lot of people see even long-term live-in relationships as transient, not lasting. So I suppose us getting married is as much for the lack of hassle as it is for the financial benefit and legal simplification.

I read so much about the drama associated with weddings. They seem to bring out the worst in people – all people involved, sometimes. They can be beautiful and lavish, but I often hear more people complain about the process leading up to the wedding, about the day of, and then about the clean-up and catch-up afterward than I hear people praising their wedding day. Most brides claim not to have eaten all day and many say they can barely remember the day at all. So what’s the appeal? It holds none for me, though I’m sure some can find the silver lining in all the trouble and possible drama. I know weddings don’t have to be any of that, but the sheer number of weddings that are exactly that helped me feel more comfortable in our decision.

So, our wedding wasn’t dramatic or meticulously planned. We didn’t get any spectacular photos out of the day. I didn’t even really want it, though it was nice to get our parents together, even if they may never see one another again, and it was nice to see my family, if only for a short period of time. And I was glad when they went home, too. We got married without the pomp and circumstance. If I had it to do all over again, I’m not totally sure I would, but I would definitely still get married. I don’t regret that at all. It’s interesting to think about how my perception of that day which is supposed to have been so monumental for us has changed in just a year and a half, and how it hasn’t. I think our marriage and relationship are good. I don’t think that a wedding is my cup of tea.

Oh well. At least we’ll never need to do it again!

1. It’s not as hard as I had it worked up to be in my head. I made a scarf to learn cables, and quickly learned to love them. I made a neck warmer to learn how to do herringbone stitch and did a practice swatch of what appears to be daisy stitch (according to some – elsewhere called a diagonal knot stitch). I’ve learned how to cast on in the middle of a project, create stitches where once there weren’t any, do a gusset for the thumb of a mitten… I know there are a lot of techniques that I have yet to explore, and I look forward to learning them as I go. No beginner projects for me – I’m learning new techniques by doing them.
2. Hobbies can get expensive, and knitting is no exception. There are some really gorgeous colorways out there, some handspun, some themed to interesting things (like Harry Potter themed yarns among other things), and lots of them incredibly expensive. I’ve found a happy spot where I get good yardage for my dollar, but yarns that aren’t scratchy and inflexible (like the Red Heart Superwash tends to be in my still limited experience). I do have to keep reminding myself that while it’s nice that some knitters can afford to spend upwards of $50 on one hank of yarn, I just can’t do that and I don’t know if I’ll ever get to the point where I will.
3. Elitism is everywhere. It’s there in all aspects of life and especially in each and every hobby or interest I’ve pursued. I haven’t found anything yet that was free of it. There are some knitters who refuse to use anything but natural fibers, or even better, handspun natural fibers (which can get very expensive) and are fairly vocal about those who use anything man-made. Others swing the other direction and are fairly judgmental of those who don’t use man-made fibers. It’s inevitable that this would happen. It’s not a very nice thing to witness, but I think I’m getting better at blocking out the elitism.

I’m really enjoying knitting things up. I stayed up late on Saturday night to finish the mitten, and it was absolutely amazing to see how it ended up shaped like a mitten, without any truly complicated techniques. As far as finished objects go, here’s what I have:

• Sharfik for Allison: Nine feet and one inch of scarf pre-fringe. -faint- It took me just under three weeks to actually finish the scarf, mostly because I think I was losing motivation for it. Scarves take a long time. There’s no real sense of reward when it’s done becasue it takes so darn long to finish. I still need to attach the fringe, but I was waiting for it to dry after washing it. I should do that soon since she’s visiting this weekend. [Pattern]
  
• Coffee Cozies [1] [2]: Johnathan got coffee pretty much every day at his old job (he started his new (old?) one today, yay!), and I figured that since he wasn’t taking his own mug to get the coffee, it was ending up being pretty unfriendly to the environment. I had about half a skein (give or take) of yarn left over from the scarf that I made for his mom’s birthday, so I figured, why not make a coffee cozy? Can’t be hard, right? I made the first one in the same woven cable pattern that the scarf I made his mom used. I seamed it up very badly, and put a pretty button on it. Where the seam is, the cozy gets pretty bulky, so I’m a little disappointed with how it came out. The second one was much better. It was a herringbone stitch pattern (which I had just made a neckwarmer out of – more on that to come), and it knitted up just as quickly as the first one, but because the edges were more straight I had an easier time seaming it. I seamed it up while watching an episode of chopped, left off any buttons and called it done. It is less loose than the first one because I made it just a little bit undersized, to let it stretch. So, all in all, #2 was much better than #1. I still have probably a quarter or more of a skein of that blue yarn, so I figure I’ll make some more, unless I can figure out something else to make with it. Any ideas? It was nice making these, though, because I didn’t use any patterns for them, so I felt kind of original in doing it. (Even if both stitch patterns came from another pattern that I originally followed.)
  
• Herringbone Neckwarmer: I’ve had this pattern bookmarked for a long time. It was one of those “someday…” projects that I had no idea when I’d be able to actually make it. I bought yarn with my birthday money from Johnathan’s mom, and had no reason, at that point, not to make it. I started it on Tuesday night, and by Thursday night, it was totally finished, including buttons and buttonholes. The buttonholes were an interesting part for me. The pattern calls for binding off, then picking up and knitting fifteen stitches with doubled yarn. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to make it work the way the pattern called for it to work, so ultimately I ignored the instructions. I looked up how to make a one-row buttonhole, and worked it into the pattern instead. It turned out pretty well! The buttonholes were a little bit big, so the buttons don’t like to stay put, but I figure I’d rather sew them smaller than have to un-knit and redo the buttonholes because the buttons won’t fit through. I really like how the neckwarmer turned out. Now I just have to wait four more months until it’s cool enough outside to actually require it! Aw, man… [Pattern]
  
• Mary Sue’s Bella’s Mittens: I am not a Twilight fan. I read the book last year and more than once wanted to throw the book through a window. It’s horrible. However, when I saw a picture of a pair of look-alike mittens that a friend on LJ made, I couldn’t help myself. I was in love! These mittens are great. They’re long, which I like, and have a neat horseshoe cable going up the top side. I started the first one on Friday night, after acquiring a longer cable needle so that I could do the magic loop to make the mitten. It took me a few hours on Friday night to make most of the cuff, then a few hours spent on Saturday got me the rest of the way finished with the mitten. Unfortunately, I stayed up until 3:30AM to finish it, because I just wanted to see it completed. As such, I didn’t get much sleep, so didn’t knit at all yesterday. As of this moment, I have exactly twenty of the requisite forty-three stitches cast on for the second mitten, so today’s looking like a knitting bust, too. Maybe this is second sock syndrom, but for mittens? I’m not sure. Either way, I’m really happy with how it turned out. I just need to finish the second one now. [Pattern]
  

Before I started my mitten, I also threaded beads for and cast on for an Odessa hat (another pattern I’ve had my eye on for quite a while), so that’s “in progress”as well. Coming up, I have plans to make a couple of pairs of socks (my first self-made socks!), a couple of things for my mom for Chirstmas, a couple of things for a friend who is moving to a colder climate at the end of the year, and a pair of Space Invaders socks for Johnathan (don’t worry, he already knows about them!). I should have plenty of projects to keep me busy until I find a new job. (Hopefully longer than that, too!)

My only real wish is that I could subsist on knitting commissions. I have exactly one so far, and that one won’t start until finances are in the right place for her, so I’m not sure when I’ll need to start on that. I’m excited to do it, though! So, uh, want something knitted? I’ll do it for you! If you pay me, of course.

Ahh, my darling kitties! I promise not to spam too often with kitty pictures, but every now and then it simply must be done. There you have it: Beethoven and Isabella.