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Thursday, April 29, 2010
Be Careful
I’ve been a fan of Peter Cincotti since I found his debut album in 2004. His music was jazzy, mostly remakes of classic song, and it appealed to me. It was a nice reprieve in a sea of hiphop music that I didn’t (and still don’t) get. He followed his debut album later in 2004 with On the Moon. It was similar in style, but stepped away from the previous album a little more with some music that could easily cross over into pop and some more original tunes. After that, radio silence for three years, it seemed. I saw him in concert, but there was no new album until 2007 when East of Angel Town was released overseas. It wasn’t released in the United States until 2009, at which time I acquired it. I like this one the best. It’s the edgiest of the three, with strong beats and even stronger themes of story-telling through the songs, which I love. There’s something about this music that seems more mature, too, because, well, it came out four years after his first album. He’s older, naturally, and more experienced at his craft than before.
There’s one track on the album called Be Careful [Lyrics]. The first time I heard it, I was deeply offended. I even skipped it for a while if I recognized it coming on my media player. Then I started to let it play through, and realized it wasn’t as revolting as I had thought it was. I got to thinking about it. And now I’m just confused.
The song starts out telling the story of the character’s date with a girl named Juliette. She is quite forward, so much that she gets the check, holds the door for him and walks him home after getting his coat – everything that is “typically” expected of the male in the scenario. He goes on to say, essentially, for things to work that way. The song continues in this fashion, and at one point the lyrics state, “I like equality \ but if you’re tellin’ me \ that equal means the same, I disagree.” Well, that’s a good statement. But then what of the implications?
I’ve grown up in an era of “girl power,” where being equal to the boys still really means acting like the boys. It means using their same tactics to succeed in the same ways. Equality to me means having to fight for it – like a man. It means being willing to shed the feminine and embrace the masculine. I don’t think anything has really changed on that front, either. And the lyrics seem to say that he’s expecting the women he goes out with to be his equals, but still to embody femininity. On the surface level, I do agree. We should be able to be whatever we want – and that includes feminine – and still be able to be equals.
Then it’s time to get into gender politics. What makes a woman more feminine than a man? Is she conditioned to want to be that way and naturally follows to make herself that way? Is that something we should perpetuate. I’m no expert on the subject, but I think that there’s a lot of nurture in how we view ourselves when it comes to gender. I am female, but I think a lot of my inner drive to be feminine (which I struggle with on a regular basis) is fueled by the media – movies, TV, ads. So, is it fair to expect that the women in this hypothetical scenario would be the feminine angels? “Girls are sugar, boys are spice \ mix ‘em up, you pay the price,” the lyrics say. I don’t know about you, but I kind of like sugar and spices mixed up. Sugar’s pretty bland all on its own, but put a little cinnamon in it and it’s heavenly on some toast. Spice by itself can be overwhelming. Gender is not either-or; men can benefit from a little of what is considered feminine, and women can benefit from a little ‘traditional’ masculinity.
My main disagreement with this song seems to be rooted in my own internal gender war. I don’t know what I should expect of myself and what I want to be, so I can’t feel okay with a complete stranger’s music having expectations on me based on my gender. I like to challenge peoples’ beliefs about gender and what it dictates on a regular basis, but the truth of the matter is that I’m not even sure myself how much of my opinions, of my likes and dislikes are based on the natural inclinations I have because I’m female. I can usually pinpoint the hormonal parts – things that naturally happen to me because of the estrogen that naturally occurs in my body. But what else of my longings and interests is designated by that estrogen, by my chromosomes? Probably not my interest in purple nail polish or bright red lipstick (which I’m never brave enough to wear). Probably not my attraction to pretty, dainty, frilly things (which I almost never indulge in because they just seem too girly for me). So, is he encouraging women to give in to the media’s calls for resolute femininity? Is he even saying anything at all except that he prefers to be the more dominant one in the relationship, and prefers women to be a bit more feminine?
I’m probably reading more into this song than was ever meant. It got me thinking, though, and I listen to it over and over sometimes, just to see if I can glean anything else from it that will clear up the confusion that I feel after the song has concluded. I probably won’t get any more clarity of feeling about it until I sort out my own internal struggle of being okay with a little femininity.
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