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Wednesday, December 26, 2007
On Forums
I seem to go through phases with forums. I decide that I really love something and would like to get together with other fans to talk about it and have some camaraderie. This is not so out of the ordinary, I figure, because isn’t this urge really what forums were created to fulfill? Well, it seems like I always jump in feet first and get settled in fairly quickly at any forum I join. I’m able to find and follow the rules without stepping on anybody’s toes and settle in to a usually prolific posting habit within a short period. At Disney Dreams this was true, at the Ingleside forum, this was especially true… now at Cittàgazze, this is true.
I think what I’m afraid of as I’m thinking of this forum is that I’m afraid of the same thing happening that has happened with all the other forums I’ve tried to participate in. I’ll stay for a time, forge friendships or at least acquaintanceships and hang out in some interesting threads for a while. Then after a while, people will start to get on my nerves as usual, and I’ll find it more and more difficult to stay and have fun like I did at the start. This inevitably ends up with me leaving the forum, usually fairly quietly so as not to create a big dramatic scene and feeling disappointed that once again, I did not find the virtual home that I was hoping for.
Do I do this to myself? Do I let this stuff get to me to the point where I can’t go on enjoying it anymore? Is it my intolerance for stupidity that does it? I know I can be a little bit unreasonable with what I expect of others at times, but usually that just involves me venting to Johnathan about it and leaving it at that. I’ve never told anyone on any of the forums exactly what I thought of them or how I thought they should behave. That would be presumptuous of me and I refuse to do it. I’m afraid of this happening again. I liken it to the ending of a friendship. I’m investing time and big chunks of myself in these forums, and when in the end I’m forced to leave them or be stressed and annoyed all the time while I’m visiting, it’s painful. I’d like to be able to say, ‘I found this forum four years ago and I’m still there! 
’ like I do with HogwartsMOO. I joined on January 3, 2002, so just after the new year will be my six year anniversary at HogwartsMOO. I will grant, I did not spend 100% of the time there and I believe there was a six or seven month hiatus involved around 2003, but all the same, I never outright quit. With these forums, I just don’t find that I can come back. Too many bad memories, too much drama involved… too many people who just seem to post with malice or without thought or real interest completely.
I take the internet too seriously. This is my problem. I want to find an online home where people take online relationships seriously – as they should be taken – and where people can also have fun and enjoy one another’s company without the feelings I have so frequently associated with my time on forums. I’m really hoping that Cittàgazze can fill that urge for me, even though there are people on there who seem to be, well, operating on a few less cylinders than the rest of us. I think that’s normal of anywhere on the internet.
Maybe I’m making too much of this trend. Maybe it’s natural to spend some time at one place and move on. Perhaps it doesn’t have to be the painful experience that it has been in the past. I don’t know, really. I just know that I want this to work out, and if it doesn’t, I may have to forbid myself from forum participation in the future. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
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